Evolution #1 - Relentlessly Resist Being Overstretched, To Prevent Being Royally Fucked...

Still, I thought I’d done the right thing by going.You see, two days earlier and less than 48 hours after our son was born, I was driving up the M6 to see a client.

And as it turns out, that apparently makes me a selfish prick, EVEN if I’m doing it to keep the money coming in and the business a success.

Trouble is, there’s only so much selfishness, suffering and sacrifice the people around us can take. And that Thursday morning, as I ate my breakfast staring at the packed bags in the hallway, I knew this was it.

I knew I was in too deep.It’s a dark place, and one that I’d begun to call No Man’s Land after being at the helm of my own business for the last eight years – a never-ending shit show of complete and utter conflict and crisis, that always started with a trigger.

Trigger #1: Overstretch

Whatever the cause, the fallout is simple enough. A state that’s simply down to our male primal instinct to provide more. A raw desire to take on more work and more business than we should. A desire that is all too often amplified by a willingness to please others by saying YES.

• YES to things because we feel we have to.

• YES to things that deep down we know we shouldn’t.

• And YES to things that in the cold hard light of day often cause more harm than good.

Now, I’ll have you consider, the BIG problem with reaching overstretch is that for most it immediately leads to trigger number two:

Trigger #2: The Choke

I suspect you’ve already experienced the pain of The Choke first-hand. Because The Choke is that place when you’re still awake at 2.37 a.m. and you’re like, “FUCK!”

• FUCK I’ve still got emails to do…

• FUCK I’ve still got quotes to follow up…

• FUCK I’ve still got customers to deal with…

• FUCK I’ve got a family that deserves my time…

• And FUCK I don’t have the time to do all of it…

And herein lies the big problem with The Choke – something has to give. And when something has to give, the lowest hanging fruit falls from the tree and stops you dead in your tracks:

• Sales stop.

• Marketing stops.

• Family stops.

It’s exactly why, during The Choke, we ALWAYS hit trigger number three.

Trigger #3: Persecution & Panic

Understand that the definition of persecution is hostility and ill-treatment towards those of differing beliefs.

Now, for us that play this game, it means:

• Persecution from customers for dragging our feet…

• Persecution from prospects because we’ve not returned calls…

• And, most importantly, persecution from spouses or partners because we’re never 100% present.

And I get it. Persecution is not fair.

Because, when push comes to shove, it’s not our fault.

I mean, after all, we’re just trying to do the right thing – provide and protect, and that sometimes means sacrifices.

Trouble is, those sacrifices – and our internal justification of WHY they’re OK – don’t fix the guilt.

They don’t stop the arguments at home, and they don’t buy you back time.

It’s EXACTLY why, in my experience, persecution drags most to the bottom of the barrel. A place of even longer workdays, sleepless nights and more suffering. One that leaves us more frustrated, fatigued and PANICKED as our bodies suffer both mentally and physically.

Now here’s the thing. When you hit that place, there are two ways to go. Collapse and fail. OR suck it up and suffer in silence.

Trigger #4: Persistence

Those that fight on face a period of hustle – nose to the grindstone in the distant hope that you can fight your way out of this misery by just working harder and getting shit done.

Because that’s what men are supposed to do, right?

Complete and utter persistence in one thing, and one thing only – WORK.

Work justified to those around us by the belief that everything will be OK if we can just:

• Get that next thing ticked off the list.

• Get that customer of our back.

• Make that next sale.

Now the funny thing is, if you persistently work for long and hard enough, the odds will tell you that things will turn around and you will trigger a Revolt.

Trigger #5: Revolt

Somewhere on the surface, that seems like a good place. One where you can finally breathe a sigh of relief because you can see the wood through the trees and finally start focusing on making money again.

But here’s the kicker.

I’ll have you consider that when you fight your way through No Man’s Land with pure male aggression, hard work and persistence there’s only one way in which it can go.

Sometimes, it’s only a matter of weeks, other times it takes months, sometimes years.

BUT one thing is certain. A REVOLT by its nature will always be followed by crisis and conflict, and crisis and conflict is always followed by overstretch.

It’s why FEAST AND FAMINE is so prevalent…

It’s why no business, in no sector, is immune….

It’s why the divorce rate for the likes of you and I at the helm of a business is so high.

And before you say it:

Getting More Customers Is Not the Answer...

You see, there is a funny thing that happens when you scale.

Customers come to only want to deal with you (the man at the top) because they feel anyone else in the business isn’t quite up to scratch. So y-o-u end up being the one with his fingers in all the pies. The one doing all the calls. The one copied in on all the emails. And the one handling all the fallout (usually at the weekend or out-of-hours) – even if you have employees on the ground and in the business.

Meaning the lion’s share of the work sits with one man, the very same man that in most circumstances is already on his knees and at the end of his tether.

It’s why most employee-up, in one last-ditch attempt to keep growing and break the deadlock.

The trouble is...

More Employees Accelerate Overstretch – They Don’t Fix It

Here’s what people don’t realise when their back’s against the wall and they’re under the cosh. These kinds of employee hires get made out of necessity, and not strategy. And when you hire out of necessity, I’ll have you consider most never pick the right people for the job.

Most choose competence over character. And here’s the problem with competent employees, they are just that – competent. Nothing more, nothing less:

• They’re not punctual.

• They always make excuses.

• They do the bare minimum and have no drive.

• They think they’re smarter than you.

• They don’t believe in your business or you.

• They’re constantly making demands.

• They don’t get along with anyone.

The net result being, rather than reducing overstretch, more employees (and more customers) amplify it.

You Become the Bottleneck and You Become Overstretched...

It’s the very reason that most plateau and most can never profitably scale – simply because it becomes physically impossible to handle any more without it all collapsing like a house of cards.

This begs the question, is it any wonder the thought of taking a holiday is so fucking scary because you’re nothing more than piggy in the middle?

Now here’s the thing you need to see. When you start out it’s OK to look for MORE and it’s OK for you to be the centre of your universe. BUT if you don’t adapt as you grow, then it’s YOU that becomes the breaking point, bottleneck and the noose around your own neck.

THE REVELATION FROM THE LAW

Overstretch is the catalyst, and it kills all momentum, marriages and money.

Frankly, by its symptoms, a man that is Overstretched can never be free, no matter how much success it looks like he has on the outside.

It’s why your number one goal must revolve around being able to spot Overstretch before it starts, and stop it dead in its tracks. From my experience with those that have made this journey before, below are a few of the tell-tell signs that Overstretch is imminent:

• Long wait times. Work is delayed because people are waiting on you for information, or next actions.

• Backlog of work. There’s too much work-in, and not enough time to push it out.

• High stress levels. A feeling of being attacked on all sides and pulled in every direction.

The good news is, now that you know exactly why most men in this game are fucked, the focus of the rest of the Iron Laws in this book will be directed at what you need to do to finally pull yourself kicking and screaming out of No Man’s Land and take back control for good.